One of the most debilitating feelings you can experience is that of being trapped or unfulfilled in your marriage. When you think about it, no one expects to be unhappy in marriage.
If you’re unhappy in your marriage because you don’t feel respected or connected to your spouse, getting a divorce is a difficult but necessary decision. Even the happiest marriages have their share of problems, but if your simple disagreements have turned into resentment and contempt, it may be a sign that your marriage is in trouble. Has your once-romantic union devolved into an unhealthy one? Here are 12 signs your marriage is over.
12 Signs Your Marriage May Be Over
1. You Are No Longer Friends
Couples who are in a healthy relationship are both friends and lovers. When sex isn’t as prevalent in the relationship, emotional intimacy and the ability to have fun together outside of romance will keep the marriage strong. This may indicate that your marriage isn’t as strong as it should be, as you and your spouse never go out as friends.
2. Your Spouse Stresses You Out
Is it making you nervous just thinking about spending the evening with your partner? Do you frequently come up with reasons why you can’t go out with them or include them in your social plans?
Anxiety over emotional or physical intimacy is a telltale sign that your marriage is on shaky ground.
3. You Don’t Communicate
There are many warning signs of a troubled marriage, including a lack of open communication. Relationships that communicate are better able to understand each other and resolve conflict peacefully.
This can cause conflict and hurt feelings if there isn’t enough communication between partners. Arguments devolve into yelling matches and intimacy withers away when you’re unable to communicate effectively.
4. There is No Compromise in Your Marriage
Compromising with your spouse means finding a middle ground in order to make things work. When you’re trying to find a middle ground in your life, you should always be prepared to compromise.
A lack of compromise means you don’t respect the other person’s feelings or opinions, and a marriage built on disrespect is doomed from the start.
5. You’re Already Living Like You’re Single
Loving spouses see each other as equal partners in their lives. Before making major decisions, the couple consults one another and enjoys spending time together.
If you’re acting as if you’re single and ignoring your responsibilities to your spouse, it’s obvious that something needs to be done about your marriage.
6. Therapy Isn’t Working
However well-intentioned your therapist maybe, you and your partner may still come away from therapy angry and frustrated. If you and your spouse love each other but can’t seem to get along, this could be a sign that your marriage is on the verge of breaking up.
7. You’re No Longer Intimate
Having sex isn’t everything, but it’s an essential part of a healthy relationship. The release of oxytocin during a sexual encounter strengthens the connection between you and your partner. As a natural stress reliever, this also promotes feelings of love.
The more time you spend with your spouse, the more likely it is that your sex life will settle into a more regular pattern. But if you are:
- In a sexless relationship
- Unattracted to your partner
- Rarely find yourselves doing the deed
- Feel repelled by the idea of being intimate together
These are clear indications that a marriage is in trouble.
8. You Can Imagine You or Your Spouse in Other Relationships
In a happy marriage, the thought of your spouse having an emotional or physical relationship with someone else might make you queasy, but in an unhappy marriage, you can picture him or her having a relationship with someone else without a second thought.
Having fantasies about your spouse or yourself in a new relationship is a clear sign that you’re already envisioning your divorce.
9. You Want Different Things Out of Life
Couples who communicate well are more likely to have a happy marriage. It’s possible that a lack of communication during a couple’s courtship will lead to marital difficulties. Disagreements over the future are one of the most common issues in relationships.
Disagreements over lifestyle, where to live, and whether or not to start a family are common roadblocks for married couples.
10. An Affair Is on Your Mind
If you’ve started an affair, it’s a sure sign that you’d like to end your marriage. There may be a problem in your marriage if you’re having an affair with someone outside of your marriage, whether it’s an emotional one or a physical one.
11. Your Goals Don’t Include Your Spouse
Do you have any lofty ambitions for the foreseeable future?
Because of your partner’s circumstances, you may not be able to relocate or change jobs. This behavior is indicative of a lack of desire for a committed relationship, as it implies that you no longer intend to be married.
12. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore
- Do you feel a sense of gloom when you used to enjoy things you used to enjoy?
- Is your relationship with your family and friends strained?
This could be a sign of a personality disorder.
It is likely that you had a good idea of who you were or wanted to be before getting married, but being in an unhappy marriage has stripped you of your identity.
If you find yourself in this situation, it could be an indication that it’s time to break up with your significant other.
Divorce may seem like a common problem, but if you have marked off two or more of the points listed above, your marriage may be in serious trouble.